Lovesick
by sweetsheart
Summary: AU. He doesn't care for emotions – so why is the fact that Marie and Joe are together bothering him so much? Marie/Joe, mild Stein/Marie. T for language.


**A/N: This story combines manga and anime plotlines, hence its AU status. It's set at the end of the anime, but Joe is Marie's ex-boyfriend (a fact from the manga.) The date they were set to go on in the manga happened, and so this is a few weeks later, when they're officially dating again. Okay? Cool.**

"… You don't have to leave."

Stein could practically hear the flirty smirk in her voice. Even Stein knew what that meant.

"Should we-"

"It's best we don't disturb him. It'll be fine." Marie giggled and took Joe's hand, leading him off into the bedroom she had in Stein's laboratory, shutting the door behind them.

Stein sighed and dropped his head. Great. There was no way that Marie and Joe were going to be sleeping, and odds were, he wouldn't sleep either.

His fears weren't unfounded.

It turned out Marie was very vocal when passionate, and Stein would have put money on the fact that Marie was probably trying to be quiet. Every time there was a break and Stein thought he could finally sleep, it started again.

And again. And again.

By four in the morning, the noises had stopped. Yet something entirely more annoying was about to take place.

Stein heard Marie's bedroom door open, and he heard heavy footsteps crossing the floor. That wasn't Marie – what sort of person traipses around the house of their lover's roommate with such carelessness?

Stein stood from his bed and looked out of his door, which was slightly ajar. And there, in front of his very eyes, Joe Buttataki was committing one of the single most horrific acts Stein had ever witnessed.

He was drinking milk – straight from the carton.

As a doctor, and moreover, as someone of a pedantic nature, Stein knew the bacteria that could be transferred through drinking from a carton. Once Joe had replaced the milk in the fridge, Stein stepped out of his bedroom, all ready to confront Joe. He made sure he had his glasses on, making certain he caught any glint of moonlight in them.

"What are you still doing up, man?" Joe asked, nonchalantly, scratching the back of his neck.

_Listening to you having thunderously loud sex with my weapon. Why?_

"It's warm out. I don't sleep well as it is." Stein replied. Joe nodded before the look on his face changed – it was the look Spirit gave Stein if he wanted to talk about _guy stuff, _as Spirit had put it.

"I s'pose Marie and I probably didn't help…" Joe remarked.

_No kidding._

"I-I didn't even notice." Stein managed to lie to _Joe Buttataki, _the human lie detector – or so he thought. Joe shook his head.

"You don't have to lie – she's amazing to be with, but she's a screamer."

Stein blinked.

He blinked again, and again.

If he blinked one more time it was going to get awkward.

_Do you often tell other men about your partner's sexual habits? Seems odd and wildly inappropriate in someone else's house._

Instead of saying what was on his mind, Stein mustered a small smile and Joe nodded. He smiled too, slapping his hand down on Stein's shoulder.

"Anyway, she's asleep now. Hope you can get some rest too, man. 'Night." Joe walked off, and Stein stood, shell-shocked.

This was ridiculous. If Joe called him _man _once more he was going to throttle him.

Stein wasn't sure what Marie saw in Joe. Apparently, it was something worth staying up until four in the morning in wild throes of passion for.

* * *

Her giggles sickened him.

He had become accustomed to the way that she laughed, but the fact that those giggles were accompanied with the infantile act of Joe feeding Marie made Stein's stomach turn. The sexual connotations of every tiny movement and lick of the lips made Stein very nearly go back to bed.

"Ah, so you got to sleep, did you?"

_Oh, Death._

"Mmhm." Stein begrudgingly walked out of his bedroom and the blonde next to the meister turned around.

"Good morning, Stein." she smiled, and Stein gave a small nod as he picked up the pot of coffee, still unable to look Marie in the eye after last night's overheard escapades.

"Joe's going to drive us into work today." she added, and Stein's fist tightened around the handle of the coffee pot. That wasn't a query – it was a statement. He sighed and shrugged, setting the pot down exasperatedly before turning around with the beaker to lean against the counter.

"So, what's on the schedule today?" Joe asked Marie. She smiled and sighed, twirling her hair around her finger.

"Well, I have a couple of special weapon lessons to do, and then it's E.A.T class lessons until the end of the day." Marie replied, and Joe nodded.

"And you're over at mine tonight?" he asked, his voice dropping slightly. Marie giggled and bit her lip, nodding.

"Yeah." she whispered, and Stein mustered every ounce of courtesy in his body and didn't groan and sigh like a petulant child.

"I'm going for a shower." Stein sighed, and he walked over to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

He cranked his bolt backwards once, twice, and finally, some of Stein's unwelcome and unfamiliar hostility towards the couple outside dissipated.

He wasn't sure what this was – was it jealousy?

No, surely not.

He had nothing to be jealous about.

He'd tried to convince himself that he had nothing to be jealous about, anyway.

* * *

"How many times is it feasible to have sex in one night?"

"Are you coming onto me?"

Stein shot the redhead a glare and Spirit rolled his eyes, shrugging and turning towards him.

"I don't know. Why?" Spirit asked. Stein sighed.

"Marie and Joe." he replied, and Spirit smirked, Stein frowned and crossed his arms, and Spirit rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Stein. They're big kids, they're gonna have special hugs." Spirit grinned lecherously, and Stein stood up.

"Forget it." he sighed, and Spirit stood from his seat and strode after the silver-haired scientist.

"Why's it bothering you so much? Is it 'cause Buttataki's moving in on your turf?" Spirit asked, and Stein glared at Spirit.

"_No,_" he snapped, "I can't sleep."

"Bullshit." he replied, and Stein's glare sharpened.

"What do you mean?" he hissed, and Spirit raised an eyebrow.

"You used to live with _me, _Stein. You slept through people having sex in the apartment all the time." Spirit remarked, and Stein stared forward and shook his head.

"You're ridiculous. This is ridiculous. Who has sex in someone else's house?" Stein asked, his voice almost frantic.

"Everyone." Spirit remarked, shaking his head, and Stein sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I don't know how much longer I can take it." Stein muttered, and Spirit crossed his arms.

"You got it _bad, _Stein." Spirit smirked, and Stein turned to Spirit, his expression filled with fury.

"I _do not." _he snapped.

"Ooh, that's worse. You've got it bad _and_ you're in denial." Spirit replied, and Stein shook his head. Spirit watched as the silver haired scientist left him in his wake.

Stein hated it when Spirit was right.

* * *

"Stein, are you okay?"

_No. No, I am not._

"Fine. Why?" Stein asked, and Marie sighed.

"Because you've been acting weird since Joe and I started dating again." she replied.

_Because I hate the man._

"I don't know what you mean." he kept his eyes fixed firmly on his computer monitor, but Marie reached over to flick it off.

"Stein… _please."_ she stood beside him, and he looked at her.

_What do you want me to say? I hate him. I don't want you to see him again. I want him to keep his dirty hands off of you or I'll remove them._

"What, Marie?" he asked, and she crossed her arms.

"You don't like him, do you?" Marie asked. Stein swallowed hard.

_Of course not. I detest him. I loathe his being._

"He's fine." Stein replied. Marie crossed her arms and frowned.

"I don't understand what you don't like about him. He's perfectly nice and he tries to accommodate for you." Marie snapped, and Stein pushed himself to stand up, glaring down at her. She was far from taken aback – she stood her ground.

"How did you feel when I was off with Medusa, Marie?" he asked. She crossed her arms.

"It was awful." she replied.

"And what did you think of Medusa?" he asked.

"I hated her." Marie shook her head, and Stein shut his eyes.

"Exactly." he whispered, and he turned around to walk off. He felt Marie grab the back of his labcoat and he turned around to see her staring furiously at him.

"Joe is _not_ Medusa. Medusa was a _witch, _Joe is-"

"You don't get it, do you?" Stein asked. Marie stepped back and crossed her arms.

"Enlighten me, Franken." she snapped.

"Joe is not the deciding factor, neither is Medusa, it's _you. You, _Marie. It's always been you."

Marie stopped. Stein did the same.

"No. I do not like Joe. Not in the least." he remarked, and he turned and left the shocked blonde in the lab.

* * *

Knocks on Spirit Albarn's door were not very common at midnight, and they were even less common from a silver-haired scientist.

"Stein?" Spirit asked. Stein's eyes were half lidded and Spirit knew him well enough to tell he was drunk.

"I've _fucked everything._" his voice was quiet and breathy, and Spirit sighed.

"Get your ass in here." Spirit said, and Stein stumbled into the apartment, the redhead shutting the door behind him.

"What've you done?" Spirit asked, and Stein groaned and collapsed onto the couch.

"I told Marie I hated Joe." he murmured, and Spirit raised an eyebrow.

"So? Big deal." Spirit remarked.

"_Then… _then I told her she was my _deciding factor._" Stein's air quotes fell as he covered his eyes with his arms, and Spirit crossed his arms.

"And then I left." his words were muffled by his arms, and Spirit sighed.

"Yeah. You've fucked it." he said. Stein groaned and sunk further into Spirit's couch.

"Doesn't mean you can't un-fuck it." Spirit remarked.

"Pretty sure it does." Stein mumbled.

"You know the only thing that Marie's going to take from what you told her was the fact that you're a lovesick bastard and you're head-over-heels for her, right?" Spirit asked. Stein scoffed.

"Lovesick. Right." he remarked.

"Stein, cut the crap. You might play the whole _mad scientist who loves nothing _with everyone else but I've known you for too long to fall for that. Don't fuck with me. You love Marie, and she's my friend too. Stop playing tha apathetic prick routine and grow a pair. Get up." Stein could do nothing about Spirit jerking him to his feet.

"She's still with _Joe._" Stein groaned.

"You need to clear it up with her. And you're going to do it now." Spirit demanded.

"She's probably with him. I don't want to." Stein remarked.

"I don't care. They can be in the middle of sex and you're still going to talk to her." Spirit said, and Stein frowned.

"Come on." Spirit demanded.

* * *

They didn't even have to go into the laboratory to find her. Spirit had to shove Stein up the steps, but there she was.

"Marie?" Stein asked. Marie looked up, blinking away what Stein didn't yet recognise as tears.

"Stein." she murmured. and he walked towards her, trying not to stumble. He walked over and sat beside her.

"A-Are you okay?" he cursed himself for stammering. Marie snivelled and her breath hitched in her throat.

"… Joe and I broke up."

Stein stopped.

"Marie, I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" Stein began, but Marie looked up with a small smile, shaking her head.

"It wasn't your fault." her tears betrayed her expression, and Stein sighed.

"Why?" he asked. Marie sighed.

"I… don't worry." she murmured. Stein sighed and rested his arm around her shoulder.

"Tell me." he insisted. Marie knew he'd obviously had something to drink – it made him a lot more pliable, and it reassured her that there was something innately _normal_ about him.

It didn't reassure her about telling him why Joe broke up with her. But she couldn't keep it from him forever.

"He… He said he couldn't love me if I was in love with someone else."

Stein was silent. Marie looked to him for some reaction.

"Who are they? I'll _kill _them."

Marie couldn't help but laugh, and Stein pulled Marie in closer, a firm hold on the blonde.

"I'm sorry, Marie." he murmured, turning to place a kiss on her temple.

Stein wouldn't realise that night. He may not even realise the next day, but at some point, he would remember why Joe broke up with Marie and put the pieces together. He would have to talk to her and work out what was going on between them.

But for now, Marie was content in his arms.


End file.
